Day 1: Building Trust with Your First 1:1 Meetings
Be Better Engineering Leader, a 30 Days Series
This is the first week of a series of daily lessons on how to Be a Better Engineering Leader. I recommend spending up to an hour on each lesson to gain insights into Product, Technology, and People—areas critical for every Engineering Manager.
As a leader, you are not just guiding projects but also people.
The foundation of your role is to build trust and establish a reliable communication channel with your team. Regular 1:1 meetings are the best way to achieve this. These sessions aren’t just about updates; they’re your chance to connect, support, and guide your teammates in their personal and professional growth.
Getting Started with Your First 1:1s
If you’re unsure where to begin, here’s a simple framework for your initial sessions:
3 Positive Things They Share with You: Ask them what’s going well. This could be about their work, team dynamics, or recent achievements. It helps you understand what they value and their current mindset.
3 Positive Things You Share with Them: Highlight their contributions and successes. Recognizing their efforts reinforces positive behavior and builds confidence.
3 Things They’d Like to Improve: Encourage them to share areas they think need improvement. This insight will help you identify potential challenges and provide support where needed.
3 Things You’d Like to Improve: Share your thoughts on areas for growth, focusing on behaviors, processes, or skills that could enhance their performance and the team’s effectiveness.
As you continue these meetings, your 1:1s will naturally evolve into deeper discussions about growth, performance management, and aligning on goals.
Action Points for Today
Schedule Weekly 1:1s: Set up a recurring weekly 1:1 with each team member. If your team is large, bi-weekly sessions can work. Start with a 45-minute slot. You can adjust the length as you get to know your team better.
Create a 1:1 Notes Document: Create a dedicated document for each team member to take notes during your meetings. Use it to record key points, track progress, and document any follow-up actions. This will help you manage ongoing conversations and ensure that every session is productive.
Resources for Further Guidance
For a comprehensive guide on how to handle your first ten 1:1 meetings, including preparation tips, suggested topics, and templates, check out the First Ten 1:1s for Engineering Leaders workbook:
Template for your 1:1 meeting notes: Notion and Google Docs.
By taking these initial steps, you’ll lay the groundwork for a strong, trusting relationship with your team.
Don’t worry if the first few meetings feel awkward—it’s all part of the process. Your commitment to these sessions will pay off in the long run.
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