On Cynism
"Nothing Will Change" Mentality
There’s a moment each of us eventually sees.
A senior software engineer sits back in their chair, exhales, and says the quiet part out loud:
“This company will never change”
And it lands like a weight on the whole room. Not because it’s dramatic, but because half the people silently agree.
This is the moment when teams stop believing in the company, in leadership, and eventually… in themselves.
Cynicism doesn’t explode.
It settles like dust.
Every retro, every roadmap, every missed promise adds another thin layer.
Until one day, the team stops pushing.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Cynicism is not a state. It’s the belief that we have no ability to change anything.
Let’s explore it.
What Cynicism Really Is
Cynicism is not sarcasm.
It’s not realism.
It’s not “experience.”
Cynicism is a self-defense mechanism.
It forms when people feel powerless.
When change happens to them, not with them.
When they’ve tried before, got burned, and created emotional armor to avoid getting hurt again.
Burnout research calls this out explicitly:
Cynicism is a facet of emotional exhaustion — a survival strategy that detaches us from disappointment.
But survival strategies have a cost.
Cynicism robs organizations of momentum.
It spreads like smoke.
One person sighs “this will never work,” and suddenly three more nod.
Before long, an entire team is telling itself a story of helplessness.
Cynicism becomes culture, and then it becomes reality.
Why Engineering Teams Are Especially Vulnerable
Engineering teams are the perfect storm for cynicism:
High disappointment cycles.
Broken promises, moving priorities, abandoned refactors, half-supported initiatives.Asymmetry of agency.
People closest to problems often have the least influence over company direction.Chronic ambiguity.
“Why are we building this?”
“Why now?”
“Who decided this?”
No answers → cynicism fills the gap.The hero myth of top-down leadership.
Many leaders quietly believe: “We can’t fix this unless the CEO fixes it.”
This is the heart of the trap:
Leaders feel powerless.
ICs feel ignored.
The company feels static.
Everyone waits for change that never comes.
So everyone concludes — nothing will ever change.
But that’s not how change works.
The Mindset Shift: “We Are The Company.”
This is the most important sentence in this entire article:
Culture is not what leadership declares.
Culture is what the team tolerates.
And that means:
We — the ICs, team leaders, tech leads, engineering managers — are the company.
Every 1:1.
Every standup.
Every decision we make about quality, delivery, and communication.
Every new engineer we onboard.
Every small improvement or regression.
We shape the cultural reality far more than we admit.
Bottom-up change is not theoretical — it’s how real companies change.
Research shows teams succeed not because the CEO pushes an initiative, but because someone local proves a better way and others copy it.
Small wins don’t “fix the company.”
They restore belief.
And belief is the antidote to cynicism.
How to Break the Cynicism Cycle
Below are six counterforces to cynicism — practical, grounded, and fully in your wheelhouse as a mid-level leader.
1. Name the Problem Clearly
Cynicism thrives in ambiguity.
Clarity kills it.
Use the Problem-Solving Framework:
What exactly is broken?
What facts support it?
Who cares about it?
What’s the willingness to solve?
What are the realistic options?
When people see a structured approach instead of emotional venting, cynicism retreats.
Cynics say:
“This is a mess.”
Leaders say:
“Let’s define the problem, the stakeholders, and the success metric.”
It’s a completely different energy.
2. Build a Real Strategy — Not Fluffy Aspirations
Cynicism comes from hearing “we’ll improve quality” for the 15th time.
Use the Engineering Strategy Framework:
Diagnosis: what’s the real 18-month challenge?
Guiding policy: what’s our approach?
Coherent actions: what we will actually do next?
Strategy restores trust because it shows intent + constraints + sequence.
People don’t need guaranteed success.
They need to see how we’re going to try.
3. Create Psychological Safety and Predictability
This is where Neuroception enters the chat.
Teams fall into cynicism when they sense danger — unpredictability, unclear expectations, inconsistent leadership, or emotional volatility.
Your job is to introduce:
Clarity (roles, expectations, criteria, success signals)
Predictability (no surprise shifts, no outbursts, stable communication)
Belonging (people feel seen)
Co-regulation (your calm becomes the team’s calm)
If people feel safe, they engage.
If they engage, cynicism loses oxygen.
4. Model the Leader-Leader Culture (Not Leader-Follower)
David Marquet’s principle is exactly the antidote:
“Don’t move information to authority.
Move authority to information.”
Cynicism = “we can’t do anything.”
Leader-Leader = “we own the outcomes.”
Push decisions down.
Use intent statements.
Define boundaries and clarity, then let teams solve problems.
Agency is the enemy of cynicism.
5. Replace Opinions with Data
Cynicism lives in emotion.
Data lives in reality.
Use DIKW:
Data: logs, dashboards, support tickets, funnel events
Information: context and patterns
Knowledge: causes, correlations
Wisdom: decisions
Teams stop saying “nothing works here” when they can see the evidence for improvement.
Data makes progress visible.
Progress makes hope believable.
For more, see how to be a Data-Driven Engineering Leader.
6. Show Progress Publicly (Even Small Wins)
Nothing destroys cynicism faster than evidence.
Make progress visible:
weekly win summaries
before/after metrics
problem solved → outcome achieved
transparent tracking of long-term efforts
refactor milestones
system reliability improvements
cycle time drops
fewer support tickets
Progress rewires the brain.
It changes the narrative from
“nothing changes” → “change is happening.”
Even better when the wins come from the team, not from you.
Much of my work as engineering leader is exactly about that - making sure that the progress is visible, accomplishements are celebrated and acknowledged by the management team. If you want more, I wrote How I Led Teams As Engineering Manager.
7. If All Else Fails: Leave Peacefully
This is the hard truth most people avoid.
If you do all the above —
clarity, safety, strategy, agency, data, progress —
and the environment still suppresses every attempt at change…
…then the cynic was right.
Not morally.
But factually.
Don’t become the person who complains for three years yet stays for convenience.
If the system is immovable, the bravest act of leadership is walking away.
Closing Thoughts
Cynicism is not a personality trait.
It’s a response to hopelessness.
Your job as an engineering leader is not to “motivate people.”
Your job is to restore agency.
To show that problems can be named.
Strategies can be built.
Data can guide.
Safety can be created.
Small wins can compound.
Teams can influence the system.
Because the truth is simple:
Cynicism says nothing will change.
Leadership says change starts with us.
And it always has.